The Cullens and friends at Sacajawea Middle School
by JASPERHALEFOREVER
Summary: These are one shots where the Cullens go to my middle school. I got the idea for the first when when i brought cookies for Belle Chante. T just in case, mostly K. terrible summery Mostly OOC. Strays from main idea, and becomes a random mess...
1. A Song of Cookies

**[A/N This is my first fanfic. It kind of sucks… (Ok it really sucks) R&R pweese. Be brutal, you wont offend me or anything, my LA teacher is so much worse than any of you could be…O.K. enough rambling… **

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**This actually happened to me; think of me as Alice, I am defiantly as hyper as she is… my friend is Jane (violent child…) **

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**O.K. now for the sucky story. **

A Song of Cookies

**Jane's P.O.V.**

I sat in my chair glaring at everybody who so much as looked at me. I didn't want to be here, I was thirsty, and my crazy choir director still expected me to stay after school and sing with a bunch of crazy, sweaty humans, so it can be imagined, I was not happy. Suddenly Alice skipped in; she was carrying a plastic bag from the local grocery store. The second she was in the door she started singing.

"Cookies, cookies! I brought cookies!"

She sang this a couple of times at the top of her lungs before I finally heard what she was saying. My ears suddenly perked up, I jumped up and tackled Alice. I wrestled the cookies from her and screamed,

"COOKIES!!!!!!!!"

I began running around the room singing a song of cookies.

"COOKIES, COOKIES, COOKIES, COOKIES, COOKIES!!!!!!!!"

I eventually relinquished the cookies and all 60 of then were gone in 10 minutes.

**[A/N like it? Hate it? Review and tell me… next chappy is Emmet tackling my art teacher. **


	2. The Mrs Eaton Tackle

**[A/N I got this idea during art when my art teacher was being mean and stuff, in my art class everything has to be perfect, you aren't allowed to be creative, you can't talk, sooo stupid, she evil pure evil!…O.K. I'm done ranting. On to the story. Sorry if OOC. **

The Mrs. Eaton Tackle

Emmet's POV

"These values are all wrong…BLAH BLAH BLAH…Apple? That sir is NOT an apple…BLAH BLAH BLAH...

I zoned off as Mrs. Eaton drowned on about how if I talked less my art would look better, "Crazy-in-a-bad-way witch" I muttered under my breath.

"WHAT?!"

"Nothing, Mrs. Eaton" I said too sweetly.

"Whatever, **[A/N She seriously says this** go make it perfect."

"But, Mrs. Eaton, I think it's perfect."

"It's not Emmet, go make it über **[A/N She says this too** perfect."

I growled under my breath as I walked back to my desk. Rosalie and Jane gave worried looks when I sat down.

I began to form an evil plan in my head. Alice looked at me when she saw what I was planning, she nodded to show me it would work then went back to her artwork, we were playing 'the quiet game' so we couldn't talk.

BBBRRRIIINNNGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I walked out of the classroom with a sly smile on my face. That witch will get it tomorrow.

"MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

The NEXT Day

I slowly walked down the hallway, I was already late, but that witch wouldn't have a chance to give me a citation.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

As I got to the door I crouched and waited till she gave her infamous speech on not approaching the desk before roll and she gives her 'instructions', when she was in the middle of it I…leaped, and tackled Mrs. Eaton to the ground when no one was looking I drained her blood. I stood up and bowed to the class and they began to sing,

"DING-DOG THE WITCH IS DEAD, THE WICKED WITCH, THE MEAN OLD WITCH, DING-DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!"

Suddenly Mr. Revis, the Vice Principal, walked in and the room grew deathly silent. When Mr. Revis saw Mrs. Eaton, dead on the floor, he cheered and began the song again.

BBBRRRIIINNNGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid bell ruins all the fun.

**[A/N Sure it sucks, but it was written when I was mad at Mrs. Eaton, she seriously is this scary, I'm in 7****th**** grade and she makes my class play the quiet game. Anyways Review and stuffs…I'll give you a cookie, and if you really want it will have vampire venom in it. ;) **


	3. Subtution Confution

**Sorry this took so long, it wouldn't reconize the word prosseser that worked for my first two chappies :( So I had to change word prossessers, soooooooooo anoying...anyways...MonkeyMojo was my first reviewer and she is awesome, so in honor of my first reveiew,here's another chappy ;) **

**R&R pweese. Sorry if peoples are OOC, I it's more fun that way I think, and if there are grammar mistakes, umm sorry, I don't understand the beta thing. This chappy will be on the T side so…you've been warned. **

**Disclaimer: I will forget every time after this, so for past, present and future chappys, I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR THE CHARACTERS, THEY JUST DO MY EVIL BIDDING.**

**Substitution Confusion **

Alice's POV

I skipped into my math class, I groaned when I saw Mrs. Senis standing by the door, I shuddered involuntarily. For her to scare an immortal vampire she **had **tobe scary. She's been my substitute for every subject, including P.E., except this class. Luckily, Emmet was in this class.

_This will be interesting…_

As I thought this Emmet walked in, late as usual.

I heard Mrs. Senis audibly groan when she saw Emmet.

_She's had him before. FUN!_

"Good morning Mrs. Penis!" Emmet yelled.

"Emmet, I've told you too many times, it's Senis."

"No it's not!"

Emmet skipped, yes skipped, to his seat.

Everything went fine till Mrs. Senis gave us independent worksheets. Emmet got a special one…

Emmet's 'Special' WS

1 1?

1 1

Alice's WS

1. One day, a person went to horse racing area, Instead of counting the number of human and horses, he instead counted 74 heads and 196 legs. Yet he knew the number of humans and horses there. How did he do it, and how many humans and horses are there?

2. y log x

If y 10, then what is x?

3. 10987654321 10!

Can this be true?! Why or why not?

4. If 1/2x 1/2(1/2x 1/2(1/2x 1/2(1/2x ... y,

then x ?

5. What place in this world can have their temperatures Fahrenheit and Celsius equal?

6. If xx 2x - 35 0,

then x ?

7. If axx bx c 0,

then what is x?

8. What is the area of a regular hexagon with sides 1 in. long?

9. You have two block of clay in cube form and the edges are 10 cm. How many spheres with a radius of 5 cm can you make with that amount of clay?

10. Every month, a girl gets allowance. Assume last year she had no money, and kept it up to now. Then she spends 1/2 of her money on clothes, then 1/3 of the remaining money on games, and then 1/4 of the remaining money on toys. After she bought all of that, she had $7777 left. Assuming she only gets money by allowance, how much money does she earn every month?

Bonus (Extra Credit)

What number shows up most often when you roll 10 dice?

Emmet looked at his WS with a look of pure torture as he tried to make sense of it. Just as Mrs. Senis sat down and opened her book, Emmet started jumping up and down in his seat.

"Mrs. Penis! Mrs. Penis! I don't understand number one."

She glared at him.

"Ask Alice."

He looked at me.

"But Mrs. Penis she doesn't get it either."

She groaned.

Emmet eventually did the WS all by himself, we were very proud of him.

**[A/N Mrs. Senis's name is really spelled like that. A ton of kids call her Mrs. Penis. Review please, I have one more story that involves boxcars, Charlie the unicorn, and an evil 14 year old. After that though I'm sunk so… any ideas tell me pweese. Oh if you want to see a very 'accurate' picture of Mrs. Senis I drew I'll put it on my profile soon, also I'll put Emmet's completed WS on there too. **


	4. The Boxcar

**A/N I have 2 reviews now! dances round room cheering There from the same person, and according to the stats I've had 61 hits for my first 3 chappys (which doesn't mean they read my story sob or that they're different peoples even), pweese review. Anyways my single reviewer MonkeyMojo is still the awsomest. She gets hugs and cookies. Ok now for the story. The boxcar is an evil planner my L.A. teacher gives us, my L.A. teacher is harsh in his critiquing, but a really awesome teacher. OOC alert! (Everyone including my L.A. teacher…if he shows up which he may or may not…). BTW -text- means and action...O.K. now u gets the story!**

The Boxcar 

Evil Sounding Music Plays 

Eddie's POV

I walked into my L.A. class and sitting on the overhead were the all too infamous boxcars. Evil music played in my head. Emmet then skipped in. Alice started laughing behind me; she of course had her mind blocked. I grabbed a boxcar and got started. Emmet grabbed one and sat next to me. As I had already finished, I listened in on Emmet's thoughts.

"_WTF!?!?!?!? What is this thing? Maybe it's a hat!" -_tries making hat, doesn't work-_ "Dang it!" "Burn!" _

-Emmet runs to Mt. St. Helens **[A/N volcano in my side of the state (opposite side of forks, there's a big Mt. range between me and Forks.-**

-Eddie follows-

When we got to Mt. St. Helens Emmet met his gay friend, a pink unicorn, who had a flame thrower. The gay, pink unicorn's 'friend' a gay, blue unicorn, took the boxcar from Emmet and held it to the flamethrower. Once it was on fire they threw it on the ground and Jasper came dragging Chaaaaariiiiiiiiiie the Unicorn behind him. On Charlie's back was Jordan Butler, and evil, ugly, and mean 8th grader, tied up. Jasper threw Jordan in the fire because he was mean to the coolio, awsomest, and partially confusaled author. This made said author so happy she had to plan a party to celebrate, and she will invite all who review, and the Cullens, and if anyone begs she might invite Jacob Black.

**[A/N Crummy ending, I know. I was writing this during the honor role con, and Jordan Butt face was being mean. Jasper's mine btw. Since my profile hates me, I included Emmet's completed WS, and an awesome pic. of Mrs. Senis from chap. 3, I don't know if it will work but…whatever AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I'm talking like Mrs. Eaton! JK I say that all the time. Pweese review. Oh and i'm out of ideas, i might have one more, i'm considering it, so if there's a subject to mess with, or if there's any ideas out there review and tell me pweese. I might do one about P.E., i had an evil teacher last semester... REMEMBER if u reveiw you get to come to pretend party in my head with the cullens and maybe Jacob and the pack...**


	5. Mr Meanauch

**A/N I got another review from the very awsomest MonkeyMojo so I got word up and am writing this very short short short one bout P.E. **

**Mr. Mean…auch **

**Mike's POV**

I walked into P.E. and cried when I saw the door, heart rate monitors, luckily I was in ballet, and I could have sprained my ankle do this. I began limping very convincingly, and went up to Mr. Meenauch,

"My ankle was sprained in ballet, I can't do P.E. today."

"Walk it off!!!!!"

So I went through P.E. like normal. That night I kidnapped Mr. Meenauch, with the aid of My Little Pony, and threw him off cliff muhahahaha…

**A/N ya it sucked, it was short but I'm out of Ideas, and I wanted to do something w/ Mike, and Mr. Meenauch deserved to die…I called him Mr. Mean once mehehehehe. **


	6. The Partay

**A/N Sorry it's been so long, there was alot of lighning storms and stuffs, the neighbor's house got hit by lighning last summer so i'm really creeped out by it and i didn't want my laptop to fry...anyways here it is...**

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The Party

The awesomeness that is the author's POV:

"What time is it?" 

I eagerly looked at the clock, "10:00-Party Time!"

-Waits 5 milliseconds-

"Where is everybody?"

Finally the doorbell rang, "Yay!"

It was the Cullens, "you're late."

"By 5 milliseconds," Eddie said sardonically.

"You know that's not a word."

"Be quiet Jasper, I'm the author and I say it's a word."

"Oh Ya?"

"Ya!"

"What does it mean?"

"It means: disdainfully mocking."

"Says who?"

"My computer…"

"That doesn't make sense in that sentence BTW."

"I don't care!"

"Whatever."

"O.K. then Party Time!"

"Yay?" Said all the Cullens except Alice (cause she's totally the awsomest…).

I stood in the middle of the room completely still, just to freak out the Cullens and Bella, then the doorbell rang. It was my awsomest one reviewer, drum roll…MONKEYMOJO!!

"Yay!" I screamed and dragged her in to the room.

"Party Time!" I yelled. 

I walked into the middle of the room and pusher a button that randomly appeared out of no where and random music started.

"Dance!" 

No one danced so I zapped the Cullens with high voltage thingies. 

Everyone danced. 

Then I brought out cookies." Warning may contain vampire venom."

No one listened to my creepy warning and ate the cookies; the two humans in the room fell on the floor and withered in pain. 

"Why was there venom in there?" Eddie asked sardonically. 

"Because my Jasper clone, Jassy helped me make them and venom accidently got in." 

"Why did you give humans them?"

"I warned them."

We sat and waited for 3 days as the humans became vampires.

**A/N Ya it sucked, I suck at writing peoples in… w/e **

**There was a party so… **

**This chappy has been brought to you by ****Masquerade**** from POTO (if u don't know what this means ask in a review.) And my awsomest reviewer (notice it's singular…) MonkeyMojo, go read her stories NOW!**


	7. Three Days Later

A/N THIS ONES SHORT (srry caps was jammed…) but w/e I got 7 more reviews 7

**A/N THIS ONES SHORT (srry caps was jammed…) but w/e I got 7 more reviews 7!) I love my reviews and reviewers soooooooooo much! (not in a creepy way) =D a good amount of the content is from MM's awesome reviews and other stuffs, she said it was ok so…**

**This is what happens when Bella and MonkeyMojo 'wake up'… **

**Three Days Later**

**The author who's way to full of herself's POV**

After waiting for 3 days with Bella and MonkeyMojo groaning in pain, Eddie holding Bella protectively, and me feeding MonkeyMojo (who is now MM) more poison cookies to speed up the process; MM finally stopped moaning!

She bolted up-right. "Hey, that cookie hurt... How mean...Wait... that means I am vampire...YAY! I'm gonna go play in the sun and see if I sparkle!"

-MM runs outside-

-comes back-

"Waa it's dark."

We all laughed at her even Bella who was so slow with her transformation that she just finished. 

"MM guess what?" I shrieked. 

"What?"

"I got two new reviewers!"

"O0o0o0o0o0o let's throw a party! We can stare at them, and feed them cookies, just not poison ones!" 

"Why?"

"Just cause." 

"ok then…"

-Author pulls emo-reader and Phoenixrebirth93 out of where ever they were hiding and ties them up-

-MM gets non-poison cookies that magically appeared out of nowhere-

-author and MM force-feed cookies (cause I feel like being cruel…)-

-author and MM stare at emo-reader and Phoenixrebirth93 without moving-

This ends up creeping out Bella and she screams and runs away.

Eddies then runs after Bella and the Cullens run after him. It's very funny to watch; MM and I laughed and resumed creeping out new reviewers. 

**A/N It was pretty short but…I wanted to be evil, but I still love all my reviewers even if I was mean to the new ones… but you guys got a party so… AND cookies, BTW I'm on a major sugar high right now muwahahahahaha… Also I'm gonna change the title to something shorter and more creative, I can't think of any so if anyone gives me a really good one, I'll give them a big hug, the Cullens will give them a hug, and anyone else that they want will give them a hug. Also I'm close to having an idea bankruptcy (if that makes any sense…) I have one for the next chappy, involving and army of squirrels… BUT if anyone has ideas review and tell me, I'll give you cookies… **


	8. Hobosback

BTW-i have a new tiltle, it sucks cause no one gave me any ideas, it's The Cullens, the friends, the author, and the reveiwers. so ther i'll change it next weekend.

THIS IS THE SAME STORY FROM TRUTH OR DARE: WITH THE HOBOS?(My one shot). I decided to make it a chappy for this one, that one will be deleted soon(like in an hour...)  
A/N I know this is in no way whatsoever original, there is like a bazillion truth or dare stories, but I really wanted to write this…Ya everyone is OOC…dots are fun… … … … … … … … … I'm done now… (Last ones).

Disclaimer: Let's look at this logically, I'm writing a fanfic, I'm ruining the Cullens lives, and not getting paid for this, if I was Stephenie or owned Twilight would I be doing this story? No? Yay we remotely learned something today! =D (ooh that sound stuck up and mean, I don't mean that you peoples are stupid or anything).

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Truth or Dare:

With the Hobos?

Alice's POV:

"Hello Alice and Jasper!" Bella yelled as she walked into my room while Jasper and I were doing ahem things.

"Yes Bella?" Jasper said a little too meanly. I glared at him.

"Truth or Dare?"

"WTFF?"

"What does 'WTFF' mean jasper?

"What the French Fri."

"oooo...k...Truth or dare Jazzy?"

"Dare?"

"YAY!"

"I dare you to go into Rosalie and Emmet's room and randomly start making out with Rosalie!"

Jasper looked at me pleadingly, but I had already seen the vision, it was funny. Jasper did the dare and all we heard was Jasper being thrown around the room. He came back looking hurt, and Bella and I were laughing hysterically.

"Your turn Alice." Bella said with a devious look in her eyes.

"You choose dare? Good!"

"But I didn't."

"Too bad, I say you did mehehehehe."

"O.k." I said slowly."

"I dare you to go into your favoritest store and sing Sexyback in an outfit I choose."

"That's not as bad as it could be." I knew what she was capable of.

"I didn't finish, you have to sing the awsomest made up lyrics I made."

Bella's POV:

Poor Alice she looked so scared, she hasn't even seen the lyrics yet, and she's too scared to see visions right now. I dressed Alice like a Hobo, cause it worked perfect with my lyrics, muwahahahahaha… Jasper drove us to the mall, and we dragged Alice to her favoritest store, I handed her the lyrics.

Alice's POV:

When I saw the new lyrics, I almost died again.

"No don't make me do it." I begged Bella simply shook her head, who knew my sweet, kind, future sister could be so conniving.

I took a deep breath and began singing.

Hobosback (to Sexyback)

I'm bringing hobos back. Ya.

Them other hobos don't know how ta' act. Ya.

They're special and behind my back.

I'll turn around and they'll attack.

Take 'em to ta' bridge!

You see those shackles? No, they're not you slaves.

You can't whip them at all.

Cause that make 'em sad that way.

Take 'em to ta' chorus!

Come on Hobos!

Go help them yo!

Come here for help.

Come help them Yo!

V.I.P.S.

Yes, help them Yo!

I have drinks.

Yo help them Yo!

You see you need too work.

Ya help then Joe!

Don't wiggle those hips.

Yo yo yo yo!

Now I'll smile

Go help them now!

Come here hobos.

Go help go help!

Get you Hobos on.

Go help them help!

(Repeats 6-8 times)

I'm bringing hobos back.

Them other hobos don't know how to act.

I'll make up for the things you lack.

Cause your burning in the sun fast.

(Repeat Bridge and Chorus)

(Repeat verse one)

(Repeat Bridge and Chorus)

By the time, I was done everybody in the mall a chortling with laughter. I grabbed Bella and Jasper and stormed out of the mall.

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A/N I have nothing against hobos just to clarify, the song should fit with the real Sexyback. A kid in my S.S. gets credit for the first two lines of the song. I DON'T OWN SEXYBACK!! Anyways, the song idea came when we did international relations simulation in S.S. I was the P.M. of Dromany (fake country based on Briton). We decided to have the hobo as our natl. symbol (we where very very hyper, no we don't hate briton and this symbol has nothing to do wth Briton) And we made the first two lines our natl. anthem (yes, I'm rambling sorry). We later changed it to:

H-O-B-O

Someone help them they are hobos on island 3.

Crazy? Yes. Island 3 was a very valuable piece of land, that Dromany owned. I will update my other story if peoples want me too, i have the idea fur my next chappy, but i'm having a really hard time writting it. REVEIW!!


	9. Emmet's Hips

A/N You all probably hate me cause I haven't updated for forever, I'm having a hard time getting WORLD DOMINATION started

A/N You all probably hate me cause I haven't updated for forever, I'm having a hard time getting WORLD DOMINATION started, I've had major WB, and I was stuck in Idaho at my aunts and there is no privacy there, I can't write with a 2, 3, and 5 year old running in to the room every 5 milliseconds. Anyhow, I'm supposed to be doing my HW, but I only have one report left and it's only 5 paragraphs, it's pretty much written in my head but… Ya know what's stupid? It's Spring break and my teachers gave me like 5 essays to write, and it's snowing, it's April and it's snowing, that's not normal, not even for my state (WA). Ok I'm done rambling (for now). 

**READREADREADREAD!! Also, I needed to tell you all something life altering important (not really). But I have issues posting a chappy that's just an author's note unless the stories completed, so I made up a chapter to go with the authors note. Anyways just to be evil, the thing that you all need to know is in the bottom a/n. D**

This story sucks but I feel guilty for not posting anything, and I got 2 new reviewers, SUPERALICE, and ElementalHippiPerson, so I will write a new chappy cause they reviewed. This Idea just popped into my head during math. It won't be very funny the way I write it so…don't kill me please. OOC. 

Emmet's Hips Don't Lie 

Emmet's POV

_Oh baby when you talk like that you make a woman go mad…_

_Urg this songs been stuck in my head for weeks. _

_It rang in my head day and night. It did have advantages, Eddie hated this song as much as I did, if not more, it was funny when I walked into a room and Eddie would run out screaming. _

_But this had to stop, and there was only one way to do it, that was why I was slowly making my way to the lunchroom, late. _

_I listened at the door and I could tell everyone was seated. _

_So I ran and jumped up onto a mostly empty table, I click a button on a remote and the cursed song came on. _

_I began singing and dancing to the song, with my new and improved lyrics of coarse. _

Emmet's Hips Don't Lie

Oh baby when you talk like that you make an Emmet go mad.

So feed one, be one, and keep reading some bo-o-oks.

I'm up all night; Ya know my hips don't lie, and I think that's right.

All day attraction, attention, Rosalie, this is perfection.

After I finished the first part of the song people were cheering loudly, then there was a flash of lightning and the power went out. I never got to finish the song.

A/N Ok it sucked, it was funnier in my head, but seriously picture Emmet sing Hips don't Lie…

_**IMPORTANT (REMOTELY) PART: **_**I am starting WORLD DOMINATION soon, I want to know who wants to help take over the world, Eddie will be all by himself, as Bella can't be around humans yet, and I'm forcing him to take over the world with me, so…he needs people to spend time with cause he's sad.**

Also, has anyone seen Drillbit Taylor? The wimpy kid's name is Emmet…he like the opposite of Emmet Cullen.

Oh, and go listen to Ashoken Farewell on YouTube-its awsomest, it reminds me of Jasper. drools

REVIEW!!


	10. WORLD DOMINATION The Plan

Hello, i'm back, i know ya'll missed me! I had tarded WASL testing, so i didn't have any time to write, when u finish the WASL, ur not allowed to do anything but read. -pouts- I love 2 read, but i wanted 2 write more. ( For those of you who arn't SUPERALICE or I,

WASL Washinton Assesment of Student Learning

It' required for all student of WA State. (

Anywho, this chapter's not very (if at all) funny, it's mostly a set-up chappy. So ya, read the bottom author's note please.

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**WORLD DOMINATION!!**

My POV

Jassy and I strode into a big, magical room with a bazillion and three high-tech stuffs. I waited about 5 seconds for my reviewers and the Cullens to arrive, when I realized that nobody knew where the room was. I snapped my fingers, all my reviewers, and the Cullens (except Bella, who's not a Cullen yet) appeared out of nowhere.

"O.k. so you all know why we're here-"

"No we don't" Said Carlisle attempting to stay calm.

"As I was saying before _somebody_ so rudely interrupted me, you're all here to take over the world with me!"

"Why would we do that?" Eddie asked sardonically.

"Well-"

"Wait! Where's Bella?" Eddie asked as he began to panic just now realizing Bella's gone.

"She's in a better place." SUPERALICE said darkly.

"No how could you do this? Bella!?" Eddie started weeping.

"Oh stop acting like a baby; she went on a car trip with Caius and Marcus."

"Why would she do that?" Eddie asked looking über confuzeld.

"Cause I made her."

Eddie began muttering something that sounded a bit like, _"Evil crazy author person."_

"Eddie that's not very nice." Rosalie yelled at Eddie.

"Thanks Rose. Now that Eddie here is done interrupting me, let's get down to business. First thing who controls the world?"

MonkeyMojo began jumping up and down with her hand up.

"Yes MonkeyMojo?"

"McDonalds!" MonkeyMojo shrieked.

"Exactamundo! Now here's the plan,

First, we take over McDonalds.

2nd we overthrow the Vultori!"

"How are we supposed to take over McDonalds?" Asked ElementalHippiPerson

"Easy, to start with we completely destroy the WASL and the number 2 pencils. Then we attack all the McDonalds in the word with MonkeyMojo's army of squirrels and army of penguins she 'borrowed'.

"I have a mutant hamster/meerkat/Siberian-chipmunk army!" Shouted Elemental Person with glee.

"Perfect!"

"Once we have control of all the McDonalds we attack the Vultori!"

"How are we supposed to take over the Vultori with just us, the Cullens, and an army of squirrels, penguins, mutant hamsters, Siberian-chipmunks, and meerkats?" Asked Phoenixrebirth93 while standing a little closer than should be normal to Eddie.

"Well umm… I hadn't thought that far…"

"OOOO I know, let's feed them those cookies you and Jassy made!" MonkeyMojo said samrtically."

"Brilliant!"

"Oh the poor squirrels, penguins, mutant hamster, meerkats, and Siberian-chipmunks!" MonkeyMojo said tearing up, "I can already see them wriggling on the floor in pain."

"Hmm…that is a problem, Alice, Esmé!"

"Yes?" Alice and Esmé asked simultaneously.

"Alice, I need you to make PJ's for our entire animal army, and Esmé, I need you to make beds for the whole animal army."

"O.K." they again said creepily concurrent.

"Good, now as for Edward, Emmet, Rosalie, and Carlisle; you will assist Esmé and Alice, their in charge of who goes where. Jasper, you will stay here and get the military plans ready while Jassy and I make more venom cookies. Reviewers, you must study; war, the Vultori, and McDonalds. Also, you must all read the author's note at the bottom of the page and vote in the poll on my profile. Be back here in 0048 hours, for non-military peoples/ Americans who don't usually talk in military time, 2 days, or for people who don't read this the second I post it Sunday, April 27th 2008. Now go!"

I pressed a magical button, and everybody disappeared to where ever their supposed to be; except Jasper, Jassy, and myself. Who left to take care of induvidual things.

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k, so please vote in the poll on my profile. please please please.

On Sun. (hopefully) i will post the next chappy of WORLD DOMNATION (WD)

Should i keep addign WD 2 this story, or make a new one...so ya...the poll is part of that...so...vote...

bubye!

REVEIW!! (Please)


	11. Ugh i'll think of a tittle later maybe

Did yawls miss me?! Of course, you did… lemmme see, reasons I haven't posted FOREVER!:

summer was just insane, and I'm a lazy child

School started, and that was just hectic for me…

I went to Az TO SEE me gma! No computer….

I lost inspiration/nothing I wrote worked…

IMMA LAZY CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW, THIS chappy is in honor of the twilight movie coming out… I wanted to post this Thursday. Just before /right after I saw the movie, it didn't happen, I've been sick the past two days, but I did see it at midnight! Anyways who saw the movie, did u like it, hate it, laugh at Jasper's face and Jake's tan for hours after (I STILL am…)? Review and tell me! Anywho, this chappy is nonsense, and has nothing to do w/ what the story was originally about, (BTW does that annoy yawls, the fact that this really isn't about the Cullens at my school anymore, lemmme know too…) it just where I thought the songs on the soundtrack would be in the movie, aka places that would neva be in the movie coz I is crazy…enjoy ( or try too…)

Super Massive Black Hole by Muse- When Bella and Edward are in Sci., a super massive black hole opens up randomly, and they all sing the song…OR the same thing happens during the baseball scene…

Decode by Paramore-Bella is doing a crossword puzzle, gets fed up and sings this song in her anger

Full Moon by The Black Ghosts- Bella goes crazy, and deciding she's in a musical, she starts singing

Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park-Some one says the phrase "leave out all the rest" and everyone starts sing this song, in the lunchroom…

Spotlight by Mute Math-Alice is convicted, the police look for her w/ spotlights, and this song is sung…

Go all the way by Perry Farrell- Jake is sung this song after being told to "go all the way" into the light…

Tremble for my beloved by Collective Soul-Eddie become a pop star, and sings this song at three In the morning, under Bella's window, much to Charlie's annoyance, soooooooooo Charlie 'accidently' shots the gun in his hand…

I Caught Myself by Paramore-Bella falls, but catches herself, and this song is sung by her to assure all of her safety…

Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation-Someone dumps acid into Mike Newton's eyes, and his eyes feel like their on fire...so everybody sings this song...

Never Think by Rob Pattinson-Emmet decides thinking is stupedo, so he tries to never think again…

Flightless Bird, American Mouth-Emmet bites a penguin, a flightless bird, using his American mouth, and sings this song.

Bella's Lullaby, mesa eez skipping this one…

soooooooooo yeah, this is why I haven't posted for the past foreva, but w/e so review and tell me ur thoughts on the movie, on my lack of sticking to original "story" plot, and also, Breaking Dawn, I've seen movie/ read book so I wont be spoiled…NIGHT (it's like 1:30 here ugh…)

--JASPERHALEFOREVER


	12. Jasper God of the vampires?

Hey yawls! Random this ish! But this was a school assignment; we're studying the odyssey, and we had to write a creation myth. Combine that with my crazyness, hyperness, and low-level of intelligence…mix, and bake at

Approximately 99999999999 degrees F. for approximately 2-3 seconds and you get…

Jasper Hale, God of the Vampires

One day, a long, long time ago, Jasper Hale, the god of vampires, was lonely as a castaway alone on a dessert island, because he was the only vampire in existence. Therefore, he went down to earth from the magical godly place he lived, and started walking around in the nature of present day Washington. After walking for a while, he saw a human named Aro coming on the horizon, Jasper hid behind a tree, and when the human got close; he jumped out and bit him, turning him into a vampire. When Aro had completed the transformation, they went to present day Vulturia, Italy. A little while later, they saw two more humans, named Marcus and Caius coming, so Jasper bit them too. When their transformations were complete, Jasper set them off to turn others, thus creating the vampire race…

R and R pweese, I'm writing another chappy…it might work it might not; I'll publish it though…it'll b on later tonight…I hope….


	13. SNOW DAY!

**Hey yawls, GUESS WHAT!? DID YA GUESS? I HAD TWO SNOW DAYS ON THURSDAY AND FRIDAY!!!!**

**Jealous? 'Course you are! Anywho this chappy is in honor of those snow days and Phoenixrebirth93 cuz she's the only who reviewed sniff sniff, and cuz she sent me a PM FOREVER ago and I never replied, she (I'm assuming you're a gal, if not srry, don't be offended) asked whether or not she's a vampire in my story and I think some of the rest of yawls might be wonderin' that as well. For both my stories (they pretty much mostly go together) if I say too much it will give away too much, all I'll say is, "Chapter Two of World Domination will answer many unanswered questions…" -creepy music plays in background-**

SNOW DAY!

Alice POV:

It was math class on Monday, and they extended the classes by 20 minuets. As I was bored out of my mind, I was going through the futures of the next couple of days…temperatures in the negative-no big deal since we can't even get cold…Emmett will fail his math test tomorrow-no surprise there, no matter how many times he learns it, it doesn't stick… then I saw something worth seeing, due to all the snow on Wednesday, school would be cancelled on Thursday and Friday! My mind began whizzing, plotting all the evil things I could force on my brothers. I spent the rest of that horrid class going through possible futures. At the end of class, I sprung Bella, Rosalie, and Jasper out of school so they could help me with my evil plan. We drove to the store and bought spray paint, vampire proof locks and chains, and the secret items that I can only know of…

Thursday

It was 2 in the morning; Edward was here for the few minutes that he leaves Bella at night. Therefore, Jasper and I only had a few minuets to chain and lock all the doors and windows, and reinforce the walls so he couldn't leave again. After we got the doors, windows and walls taken care of, we set up security cams and microphones in key places around the house, and went back to our room to wait.

2 min. later

Jasper and I were watching the super-secret-awesome-spy-like-main screen of the cameras in our room, following Eddie's rout down the stairs and to the front door. We continued watching as he tried to get the door open.

Eddie's POV:

I was heading down the stairs to drive back to the love of my life's house. When I tried to open the door, it wouldn't budge, I used my full vampire strength and it still wouldn't budge, so then I ran at it with my full vampire speed and strength, nothing happened. As a last resort, I went to Emmett to ask for his help…

Emmett's POV:

I was trying to count the dots on my ceiling, which was hard because I couldn't count past 10, it was those stupid teens…11; 28994; cheese; purple… dang, that's not right. Rosie was reading a book, she wouldn't talk to me for some reason…I think she's mad…anyways, Meh and Rosie were so occupied when Eddie came up to beg for my help opening the front door, poor Eddie, he's not strong enough, he'll never be allowed to forget this! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Alice POV:

Jazzy and I continued to watch as Eddie and Emmett tried unsuccessfully to open the door for 5 hours. Then they just sat down, excellent, time for phase two…

2 min. Later

All it took was two minuets to get Edward and Emmett chained to vampire-proof chairs in separate rooms with giant Televisions. Now Rosalie, Jasper, Bella (I snuck out and got her), and I were in my room ready for the torture of Eddie and Emmett. On the TV in Eddie's room, "Oklahoma" was set to play on permanent loop. In Emmett's room, the episode of SpongeBob where they sing the FUN song had the song scene set on permanent loop. I pressed play on my magical-type-remote-thing with an evil look and began the torture.

About 8 hours later

For the past 8 hours Eddie and Emmett have just sat there watching there respective shows, I was about to let them go just so I would have something to do when so terrible singing caught my ear from Eddie's monitor, After taking the movie back to the beginning of the song, and undid the chains, I muted Emmett's and turned up Eddie's, he began sing and dancing:

(_**A/N this is what's happening on the screen, Eddie's the one talking, singing, or damaging other's ears; howeva you look at it, also, I have nothing agent Oklahoma, I'm actually watchin' it right now. BTW it's funnier if you picture Eddie changing his voice for each person ;D)**_

"_Voice of Aunt Eller:  
They couldn't pick a better time as that in life_

Voice of Andrew:  
It ain't too early and it ain't too late

Voice of Laurey: Startin' as a farmer with a brand new wife

Curley:  
Soon'll be livin' in a brand new state

Company:  
Brand new state!  
Brand new state, gonna treat you great!  
Gonna give you barley, carrots and pertaters,  
Pasture fer the cattle,  
Spinach and termayters!  
Flowers on the prarie where the June bugs zoom,  
Plen'y of air and plen'y of room,  
Plen'y of room to swing a rope!  
Plen'y of heart and plen'y of hope.

Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain  
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet  
When the wind comes right behind the rain.  
Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I  
Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk  
Makin' lazy circles in the sky.

We know we belong to the land  
And the land we belong to is grand!  
And when we say  
Yeeow! Ayipioeeay!  
We're only sayin'  
You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!  
Oklahoma O.K.

Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain  
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet  
When the wind comes right behind the rain.  
Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I  
Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk  
Makin' lazy circles in the sky.

We know we belong to the land  
And the land we belong to is grand!  
And when we say  
Yeeow! Ayipioeeay!  
We're only sayin'  
You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!  
Oklahoma O.K.

Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla  
Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla...

We know we belong to the land  
And the land we belong to is grand!  
And when we say  
Yeeow! Ayipioeeay!  
We're only sayin'  
You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!  
Oklahoma O.K.  
L - A - H - O - M - A  
OKLAHOMA!  
Yeeow!"

After that, I decided to check on Emmett. It was just the beginning of the song scene. I unchained him and he began singing and dancing as well:

(in SpongeBob voice)

"_F is friends who do stuff together!_

_U is you and me!_

_N is for anytime and anywhere at all down here in the deep blue sea!"_

(in plankton voice)

"_F is for fire, burn down the city!_

_U is for uranium BOMB!_

_N is for NO SURVIVORS…!"_

Then a look of realization came across Emmett's face, and he began yelling at the screen, "SPONGEBOB YOU MORON! YOU FORGOT THE 'E' THAT GOES AT THE END OF FUN, ITS F-U-N-E! MORON!" Then calming down a bit, he said, "I bet you forgot it because you couldn't think of what it is, I, SUPER EMMETT, will help!

_E is everybody singing haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapiiiiie!"_

I decided to take pity and let them out, I walked to Eddie's room, and found him pretending to ride a horse while sing "Oh what a beautiful Mornin'" I calmly told him that Emmett looked him up then ran to Emmett's room. I found him in the fetal position chanting "F-U-N-E" I quickly told him Eddie locked him up and ran away.

_**A/N WOW that was long, 8 double spaced pages on word…it's kinda rambly, but it's a REAL update, I don't think it turned out that good, but the picture of Eddie sing Oklahoma was priceless in my mind. Oh well, R&R PWEESE! **_

**_P.S. Happy HOLIDAYS!_**

**_P.P.S. This chappy is 1,659 words according to Doc Manager_**

**_P.P.P.S. YOUR THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON "THE PRICE IS RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" How does that make you feel?_**

**_P.P.P.P.S BEWARE OF SHAMWOW IMITATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11_**

**_P.P.P.P.P.S. (last one =D) REVIEW and I'll update WORLD DOMINATION..._**


	14. La Bus Diver pt one

_**Hey yawls, aren't yawls lucky, 2 updates in one day! Actually this is my buddy Bella_cullen1989, we ride the bus with the same evil poopy monsta face…I'm no exaggerating…Anywho, review, cuz we'll both luv u! Here's her A/N…enjoy =D P.S. I'm in story minerly, see if yawls can figure out who I am…it's not a twilight person…**_

_**A/N**_

_**Hey guys! My pin name is bella-cullen1989! I've known JASPERHALEFOREVER since we where in kindy! She let me write a chapter on the o so beloved (JK he yells a lot and makes us late to school with his "announcements") Bus driver Rich. So sit back relax and enjoy! BTW, idk how the whole message system works so just write to me at **_

_**Srry for the long A/N but here it is! **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except maybe a few minor characters **_

La Bus Driver pt one

My POV

Me and the Cullens where walking up to our bus stop, 20 minutes earlier than normal mind you, because of the bus driver. This bus driver is pure evil, ask anyone! We walk up the ginormous hill and see the bus about to leave. Edward picks me up and we run at vamp speed to catch the bus. After much panic and many explanations, we finally get on.

"I didn't see you guys at the stop, citations for all of you!"

"But sir, that's not fair. Just because we are amazing and you're jealous of us doesn't mean you can punish us unfairly."

Oh man, thanks to somebody, *cough*Alice*cough* who just mouthed off to the bus driver, we are gonna get it!

"ALL OF YOU TROUBLE MAKERS, ALICE, EMMET, JASPER, ROSE, EDWARD, BELLA, SIT UP HERE NOW!"

"But what about Ally? She's our friend, make her sit up here, too! We don't want her to be lonely!"

"ALLY GET YOUR BIG FAT BUTT UP HERE!"

I cant belive that! He just said that, and no one did anything about it! I am going to tear Em up into tiny little pieces, put them in a pile, AND BURN THEM! Its all because of Shelby who just had to call at the last minute and asked advice on her outfit.

OHHHHHHHHHH DO I SMELL REVENGE?

"Bus driver, I heard Shelby call you a nobody with no life and has no one who loves you, shouldn't she come up here too?"

"ALL OF YOU KIDS ARE HARRASING ME! UHH I SHOULD JUST MOVE ALL OF YOU UP HERE! BUT FOR NOW, SHELBY GET UP HERE NOW TOO!"

hahahah! This was soooooo worth it! The look on shelbs face, priceless! So I was sitting next to em, much to my disappointment. O well might as well make this as fun as possible. After all, the bus driver assigned us partners to sit with when we where up here. Rose with Jazz, me with Em, Shelby with Devan (her bff), Alice and Bella, and poor Eddikens all by his lonesome. Not really by his lonesome, he sat next to Nick.

"I HEARD THAT ALLY!" Edward yelled

"STOP EASEDROPPING!" I yelled back

I do fell pretty sorry for Edward though. Nick is like Bella's stalker, no joke. Ever since she was vampified he memorized her address, schedule backwards and frontwards, her sports practice times, her phone number (which she has changed 10 times already, sheesh!) and anything else you can think of. And with Edward able to read minds, I can only think of what he's thinking.

"Ally, why are you shuddering?" Emmet asked

"I was imagining what nick was thinking about Bella right now."

"O man poor eddie. Hey, why don't you text him and ask?"

"I DON'T HAVE A PHONE EM! UHHHH RUB IT IN WHY DON'T CHA!"

"Sorry Ally!" here use mine!"

so I grabbed Em's phone and started textin

(ally regular and Edward bold)

Hey whats nick thinking right now?

**It…. Burns…. Want to…. KILL! **

Just tell me Ed!

**He's thinking of ways to get her away from school and "take her home" to "study" **

OMG NFW! Why don't u just kill him!

**I don't want to move and ruin what Carlisle has built up for us…**

Then help me kill!

**No, do we need to go visit the "special place" again so the nice men in white coats can help you? **

NOOOOOOOOOOOO NEVER AGAIN! THEY ARNT NICE! NO NICE NO NICE!

Then Ally started rocking back and forth trying to forget the happy place

Then an idea popped up into her head

"pssssst em"

since they couldn't talk without getting in trouble they had to whisper

"what?"

"what do you say we get a little pay back on chauffer rich?" (A/N he actually makes us call him that, there is a magnet above his seat that says that)

A/N

So what did you think? Hit or miss? REVIEW and tell me!

I will write the next chapter, but spread the news to your friends about this chapter and have them read the whole story or just this chapter please! And if someone could please explain how to work this sight, that would we great! Luv u all!

--

bella-cullen1989


	15. La Bus Diver pt two

_**Bella-cullen1989's A/N**_

_**Here is part 2! I hope you enjoy it! I messed up my pen name its bella-cullen1989! I'm writing Ally's POV and JASPERHALEFOREVER is writing Shelby's POV. I hope you enjoy it! There is some fluff with Ally, idk about Shelby cause JASPERHALEFOREVER is writing that part, so ya! **_

_**My A/N **_

_**Yes, mine is fluff-a-licious. R&R. Enjoy!**_

**La Bus Driver: Part 2 **

"What kind of revenge we talking about?" wow. Em really likes revenge

"Phase one. There are exactly 24 boys and 24 girls on this bus. They all have cell phones, except me. Since you and your siblings are vamps you need to text with vamp speed to every cell in this bus. I have programmed them all into all of your phones in the section phase one. (A/N there is no sections for contacts I don't think so pretend) text your siblings that the people they need to text are under the section phase one. So all the girls and boys pair up with their respective partner. When you count to 3 all of us will start making out, standing up. Got it?"

"Yea!"

So with the Cullen's super vamp speed they texted everyone!

I was looking for someone to make out with when Damiean, my crush, walks up.

"I got the text, so… you wanna be my partner?"

I was soooooooo shocked and so happy all I could squeak out was "yes!"

So we sat down and waited for Em

"1"

o mi gosh, nervous! You can do this ally.

"2"

you cant do this! You cant! What are you thinking. To late now!

"3!"

Damiean and I looked each other in the eyes and started to kiss. This was the best experience in my whole life! My hands knotted in his super soft hair while his hands where on the small of my back pulling us closer together…

"WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!"

After about, um, 5 minutes of pure heaven bus driver Rich finally noticed all of the teenagers making out on the bus.

"WE ARE HAVING A TALK, NOW!"

So he pulled over and we all sat down. Damiean put his arm around my waist when I remembered I had to text Em to tell him the next part of the plan.

"Damiean?"

"Hmmmmm?"

"Can I borrow your cell? I need to text Em and tell him the next part of the plan!"

"Anything for you.."

After turning fire truck red, I texted Em

(Emmett bold, Ally regular)

Ready 4 phase 2?

**Sure, what do you need me 2 do chief?**

Text everyone and tell them to look under their seats. They will find apple sauce and other various foods. You will count to 3 and everyone will throw them at Rich when he is talking. Got that scout?

**Roger that! **

So the Cullen's went to work texting and everyone was ready for the ambush

Right then bus driver Rich started talking

"YOU HAD THE NERVE TO ALL MAKE OUT ON MY BUS LIKE A BUNCH OF BANCHIES, WHEN THE DISTRICT HEARS ABOUT THIS…"

"NOW!"

Em yelled that at the PERFECT time! We all started throwing various food like items at him and he screamed like a little girl.

"YOU ARE ALL CRAZY! CRAAAAAZY!"

We heard him yell this as he ran away. The only problem is now we have to get to school.

Now it was up to someone to drive, but none of us knew how to drive but…

"I'LL DRIVE" yelled Emmet

Yea Emmett knows how to drive, bein a vamp and all. So he started driving us to school.

"So, Ally, can I ask you a question?"

Oh mi gosh, is Damiean gonna ask me out? He's a really cool guy and I've known him since 7th grade. He's a really devoted Christian and doesn't cuss (which is a plus) and he goes to my youth group. If he asks me out I will say yes because 1 He is a Christian, and not afraid about it. 2 He doesn't cuss, which I really appreciate. 3 He's really cuuuuute!

O I need to respond

"Yea sure!"

"W-willyougo outwithme?"

O MI GOSH! DAMIEAN JUST ASKED ME OUT! OOOOO THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!

"Sure! I would love to!"

Then a breath taking smile spread across his face and we just held hands, because we didn't want to move to fast. We made out because of bus driver rich, but that's the only reason why! We wouldn't have ever done that just because. We want to move slow.

We got to school and walked off the bus, hand in hand.

Why would Damiean ask out a girl like me? Sure I was tall, but that's about it. I'm just a plain jane! I have short, layered, choppy hair with bangs that is dirty blonde. I am about 5 foot 7 and not super skinny, but not obese. Today I have my fav outfit on, my peace sign shirt with a black long sleeve shirt on underneath it. I had my hair half up in a bun and the bottom half straight. I had skinni jeans on with my orange vans. And my plain boring pail green eyes. The only attracktive thing about me was my super pale skin.

Damiean had coal black hair. It was long and straight and sideswept. His eyes where a piercing electric blue. He was very stylish, for a guy anyway. He was about 5 foot 10. He was my dream guy! But he was pale like me! I love pale skin!

We entered the school, hand in hand, ready to face the world.

Shelby's POV.

I was sitting fuming, stupedo bus driver, stupid day, stupid everything! I was trying to decide whether I could blow up the bus without getting in major trouble, and if I couldn't, was the trouble worth it…when I noticed my friend Ally give Emmett a strange look, was that evil? I shuddered, her evil looks were nearly as bad as Jane's. I shuddered, then my phone began singing:

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-KLAHOMA!"

Ah, a text from Eddie, I flipped open my phone to find this:

**24 boy/ 24 grl on bus. Pair up. Make–out 3. Stndng up. Rvnge on Rich. **

Great, to my knowledge most of the guys on the bus, besides the Cullens hated me. What was I supposed to do? I glanced around and saw Jared standing by my seat looking nervous, looking at me. My cheeks turned slightly redder. Jared was one of the few boys on the bus who didn't hate me, he was also in my gum class, we've talked a couple times, he's the only reason I could stand that class, I've had a crush on him since I meet him last year.

"Shelby?"

I looked toward Jared at the mention of my name. "Yes?" I asked quietly.

"W-wwwwwwouldyouliketobemypartner?" he asked really quickly and slightly jumbled, but I understood him just fine.

I blushed noticeably redder as I replied a quick yes.

1.

My mind whirled, what would my parents thing, at least I'm allowed to date now.

2.

I took a deep breath to steady myself.

3.

"Ready?" Jared asked quietly. I nodded. He squeezed my hand as we stood up. He leaned in and softly pecked my lips and I retuned it, we stayed like that, softly kissing, for about 5 minutes until Bus Driver Rich pulled the bus over and started yelling,

"WE ARE HAVING A TALK, NOW!"

WAY TO RUIN A MOMENT! I yelled in my head as I sat down. Oh no! Not another talk, we had usually had these twice a day, our record is when we stopped six times on the way home…on time we went a day and a half without one, that was a miracle. Suddenly my phone quietly began playing Alice's ringtone, the one she recorded herself:

**Imma Pixie!**

**A straight up P!**

**The pixie life is 'da life for me!**

**Shopping all day!**

**Dancing all night!**

'**Da pixie life is outa sight!**

Luckily bus driver Rich didn't notice, I quickly flipped open my phone and read the text from Alice:

**Undr seat food. Thrw Rich whn he strs tlkng. ;D How was the kiss?**

I blushed and glanced at Jared's phone to see he got the same message, minus the kiss part. We got ready then Rich began

"YOU HAD THE NERVE TO ALL MAKE OUT ON MY BUS LIKE A BUNCH OF BANSHEES, WHEN THE DISTRICT HEARS ABOUT THIS…"

"NOW!!!!!" Emmett yelled at the perfect time.

We all began the onslaught, Jared and I each had and applesauce pie, and since we were in the front we stood up and we each smacked it in his face! As the rest of the bust began throwing their food. Then Rich screamed like a little girl as he ran off the bus,

"YOU ARE ALL CRAZY! CRAAAAAZY!"

Aloud cheer arose from everybody. Now to get to school, I could moderately drive, but I wasn't comfortable with it. The Emmett yelled,

"I'll drive."

Great, I feel even less safe now…

We started on our way. Jared was looking out the window so I quickly replied to Alice's text:

**It wuz wndrfl…MOR thn u can knw =D**

When I finished Jared was staring at me,

"Shelby, would you maybe consider gggggoingtodinnernextweek (going to dinner next week)?"

I smiled and said,

"I'd love to."

He smiled and gave me a big hug and surprised me even more by giving me a quick kiss. Then we both blushed, then stood up to walk into school hand-in-hand, today would be a good day.

_**Bella-cullen1989's A/N **_

_**Here it is! We actually did 2 chapters in one day! Visit my profile, where my email is located, and email me! Luv u guys! **_

_**My A/N **_

_**You spoiled ducks, 3 chappys in one day, and I have one already brewing in my mind for tomorrow, my writer's block is obviously gone! Anywho REVIEW! Phoenix Rebirth is 'da only one so far =' [. **_


	16. Cullens, Drama, and the Eighties Baby!

**A/N this is JASPERHALEFOREVER! Did anybody miss me? It's been a whole year! I had really great teachers last year and I lost my inspiration. I'll update world domination soon too, maybe. They "killed" the WASL. All they really did was make a new test that very similar and called it something else. Ya, real smart Washington State! Anywho… this is a team write between me and bella-cullen1989. Hope you like it! P.S. she's writing a new story. it sounds way cool heres the summery! Go forth and read and review it my evil minions!**

**Shattered: **

**Edward has broken Bella's heart. She runs to Jake for comfort and support. When Edward comes back, will she go back to him???? All human and OOC.**

**A/N**

**Hey everyone, we're BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! This be bella-cullen1989 man! I know it's been a long time, and you probably want to stab me in the face, but I DON'T CARE! I haven't been able to write in a LONG time so this is great! I'm sorry we left you hangin, we are going to fast forward a year, so high school now dog!**

**Ally POV**

**The year went by, Damien and I broke up, (it's a middle school relationship, what do you expect?) and we graduated from junior high. We are in the big times baby, HIGH SCHOOL! Even though my brother was there, we never talked. I hung out with the Cullen group and, of course, Shelby. We, somehow, all got into the same drama class.**

**We were all sitting at lunch, in the sky walk, talking about stuff. All of the sudden Alice had a vision. All she would tell us is that "drama is going to be epic! YEEEEEEEEEEH!" I'm officially scared...**

**Finally, drama. I was in my element, acting and singing! Mr. P (because his last name is too complicated) told us of a new project we were working on.**

"**Ok biscuits, here is what we are going to do. You are going to pick three songs from the 80's and make a live music video. I will pick your groups. Ally, Emmett, Alice, Edward, Jim, and Danielle you are group one! Shelby, Jasper, Rosalie, Bella, and Jassy, you are group two...."**

**Oh great, I get paired with all boys, and Jim. Jim, well, he was nice and all, but he had a huge crush on me. We were great friends and all, he was just not my type. We went to our group and started talking. Of course, loving 80's music and all, I had the perfect three songs picked out.**

**We sat down on the stage and started planning.**

"**Ok everyone," I said taking charge, "We are going to first do Safety Dance by Men Without Hats, then Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash, then I Ran by A Flock of Seagulls. Sound good?"**

**Everyone looked dumbfounded, except for Jim. Jim just stared at me... awkward...**

"**Brilliant Ally! Now, I've heard those songs, so I know the exact timing. The first song should be Safety Dance. The timing should be from the beginning of the song until one minute. When they spell out safety dance, we will use huge poster bored to spell it out too. We will all have hats and sunglasses on, alright? Pretty much Ally will be the one trying to be convinced to come with us, alright? Danielle and Jim will be her friends that Alice, Emmett, and I are trying to make her leave behind. Then we act out the lyrics, got that?"**

**We all nodded, I liked this idea so far. I get to be the main actress! Hello starring rolls, Broadway, and the big screen! Alice took over the second part.**

"**ALRIGHT NOW! We should play Should I Stay or should I go from 1:08 to 1:55. Danielle and Jim will be begging her to stay with them, Edward, Em, and I will be begging her to come with us. We will be pulling on her arms while she mouths the words. Got that everyone???"**

**We all cheered! This is going better than expected! These ideas are so great. Now Emmett is going to plan the next part... uh-oh.**

"**Now for the song I Ran. We will play it from :57 to 1:03. All Ally has to do is run away off stage. The two groups will look at each other and then run after her. Got it???"**

**This music video is epic, and Jim looked happy at the thought he would actually get to touch my arm, ew. I looked over to Shelby's group. I wonder what they are up to....**

Shelby's POV

Finally! it was drama! I suffered through four periods to get to this point! I got there early so I decided to catch up on my sleep. After about three minutes(such a long rest!) Mr. P walked in. He explained our new assignment.

"Ok biscuits, here is what we are going to do. You are going to pick three songs from the 80's and make a live music video. I will pick your groups. Ally, Emmett, Alice, Edward, Jim, and Danielle you are group one! Shelby, Jasper, Rosalie, Bella, and Jassy, you are group two...."

I got a great group! everyone except me lived through the eighties! I loved eighties music though! I already had three songs in mind. when the group assembled, I read off my choices.

"I think we should do Walk like an Egyptian, One night in Bangkok, and Welcome to the jungle. Does anyone have an objection?"

I watched as everyone nodded.

"Great! so I was thinking we could do a world travel themed music video. I think we should have Rosalie dreaming she's on safari in the Jungle, well have welcome to the jungle playing. As she going through the jungle, we'll have a savage beast attack her, Bella of course!"

Bella smiled and picked up the next part. "then her dream will suddenly change to Egypt. She'll be the wife of Pharaoh, played by Shelby, who's dressed like the pharaoh in _Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat_. Walk like an Egyptian will be playing as they dance. Pharaoh gets mad and orders his servant, Jassy, to kill her."

Jasper picked up the next part. "As he's about to stab her dream switches to Bangkok. _One Night in _Bangkok will play. She can be vacationing there when she's kidnapped by the guards of the ruler guy of Bangkok, which will be me. She is forced to cook and clean but does a horrible job of it and is flung off a cliff. Just as she's about to crash she wakes up and skips of stage merrily."

Everyone agreed on the plot and we began rehearsing.

**A/N It's JASPERHALEFOREVER! Pweese review. I've had a bad day and it would make me really happy. even if its to just write "hi" I'll at least know someone still reads this. I'll also welcome criticism and suggestions. just no flames and keep it G rated. I love you all! **


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